"A year from now you may wish you had started today"
I think of that phrase often when faced with something seemingly impossible or overwhelming or beyond my typical comfort zone. In the fall I find the idea of that statement even more powerful. For me it is the season of new beginnings. Forget those midnight resolutions and give me new papers, pencils, and books.
I keep a one sentence journal and last September these were my big questions.
Can I really run another half-marathon after such a long break from real running?
Are my work goals truly attainable?
Is this what being a grown up is all about?
Will parenting ever get easier?
As I look back at September of 2012 I cannot believe how far I have come in so many ways.
Running is better.
That half marathon I couldn't even fathom in September of 2012? On the docket for this Saturday. And I am excited and ready. Last September - I started training again with a 5k after taking an almost 3 year break and if you had suggested a half, I might have just walked away.
Work is better.
Because I spoke up and made a commitment to make MY goals work, not let anyone else dictate what success meant for me. Last September - I was crying almost every day and feeling like a failure each time I powered down my laptop. Today, I feel like I am actually making REAL progress.
Home is better.
Because I have stopped trying to live someone else's life. We are now living our lives. And we are actually HAPPY again. We are still in the toddler blur, but it's our blur. And I am grateful. Last September - I wasn't so sure any more about who we were or how we got here. But here we are. And I love my little family more than I could have ever imagined.
M is better.
Well - he was always pretty great. But I didn't know how to be a mom all the time. This is a BIG learning process. And for me, no matter how many books I read or blogs I followed I had to start to understand M was going to be who he was. And it was my job to be his mom - not the imaginary child in a book. Last September - I kept trying to fit him into the right slot.
So my biggest lesson... Live my life - not someone else's.
I have no idea what day I shifted my thinking last September, but I am SO grateful that a year ago the idea of change took hold. And I am beyond grateful I was able to seek out the help and resources (big and small) to make the changes I needed a reality.
Now it's time for some new ideas... I'll let you know what they are when I figure them out.
xo friends...
