No one will ever know the strength of my love for you

"No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. 

After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."

Mother's Day began in 1908.  It became an official US holiday in 1914 and by the 1920's its founder, Anna Jarvis, was already disappointed in its commercialism.  I wonder what she would think if she looked around today.  I wonder if the excessive sales and beribboned cars and abundance of flowers would sadden her to no end.  When I picture Anna Jarvis holding a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia on the first Mother's Day, I do not think the world felt even close to what it feels like today. 

I will confess that on my first mother's day, I felt like a fraud.  This day was about MY mom, mother-in-law, amazing sisters-in-law, and grandmothers - not about me. I felt as if I had not earned my mother stripes - even after 24 hours of labor and 10 months of babyhood.

Michael and me - May 2011

Two years later and this mother's day is quite different for me.  I finally feel like I've earned a seat at the worldwide table of mothers.  And I have been thinking a lot about the TRUE meaning of this day.  So I will pause to remember three special ladies as we approach Sunday.

First, I think of Sally Raba.  I have never met Sally, but I have the honor of knowing her beautiful daughter Molly and delightful grandson Nicholas.  For the past two years, I have run with her family in the Race for Hope in memory and honor of those suffering from brain tumors.  Throughout the race I was touched by those who are fighting the good fight and reminded of the blessing of health, love and friendship.  From what Molly has shared, Sally would have appreciated those lessons.

Molly Bahn and me at the Race for Hope 2013

Second, I think of Lois Hutton.  I was fortunate enough to meet Lois a handful of times as I got to know her daughter, Pam Nelson.  Pam has shared with me the lessons Lois taught her and has in turn made me a better mother, wife and friend.  Lois will never know the impact her love has through her daughter, but I am forever grateful. We will run to celebrate Lois, and Pam's grandmother, in the National Ovarian Cancer Run/Walk on Saturday, May 18th.

The Nelson Family

And third, I think of Nancy Carey, my brother-in-law's mom.  Nancy was laid to rest yesterday in a very touching service.  I took with me many things from the day, but particularly how much her husband and sons love her.  She was a shining example of putting your family first.  My heart breaks for Kevin, his brother, and dad.  I am grateful for the example Nancy set and for the young man she raised.  I love how much he loves my sister and the life they have created together.  She was the kind of mother I hope, in many ways, to be.  

Kevin and Meg Carey

As we pause for a moment, commercially or otherwise, to celebrate the women who love us in a way that we, as children, will never fully understand, I think of these women and honor them. 

I am also grateful beyond measure for my mother, Karen Crotty, and her enormous heart.  It was not until I had Michael that I fully got it.  I fully realized why she did some of the things she did.  I knew why she loved me so much as an introverted little girl and a defiant teenager.  I knew why she would drive 4.5 hours just to spend some time with me.  And I am so grateful for her, words are not enough. 

Happy Mother's Day to you.   
xo friends