Two Roads Diverged in a Wood...

 

 

 

I believe in good intentions. That most people are doing the best job that they know how to do at any given time.

I believe in forgiveness.  That the more we are able to forgive others, the more likely we are to stop the pain ourselves.

I believe in hope. That it is the ONE irrepressible power we have against darkness.

I believe in perspective. That sometimes you have to jump up on the table and say "Oh Captain, my Captain" and see the world from a different place.

I believe in the power of a good story.  That getting lost in a book and imaging that world provides a step back from our current problems and allows them to cool.

I believe in exercise and sleep.  That they are critical to a happy life and provide a mental boost essential to growth and healing.

I believe that the days are long, but the years are short.  That change comes at an excruciatingly painful set of moments, but that when we look back on time the year has flown by in the space of a heartbeat.

I believe in failure and loss.  They are the things that make us stronger, more resilient, and in the long run provide greater success.

The first few are easy enough.  They are about looking for the good, taking action, and moving.  I have a very hard hard time with the last two. 

This week I had a major disappointment.  I intellectually understand it and know exactly why it happened and what my part was/is in the story.  But it stung just the same.  I gave myself 24 hours to sulk about what had occurred.  And in that time, I thought of those other moments - losing an election in College or being passed over for a job or ending a relationship that just wasn't working.  It felt VERY YUCKY.

I sat down on the sofa after M's bedtime still feeling grumpy, but my 24 hours were just about up.  You see, I do not believe that everything happens for a reason. I think the world, and human power, is much to complex for that simplification.  Just the same... something very miraculous happened yesterday just before bedtime.  I had this moment of realization, it was one of those extraordinary every day moments that took my breath away.  I looked at a picture of M on my way to bed and I remembered --

That in the end, I was grateful for those failures. 

That in the end, my life was better because I was forced down a different path.

That what I have right now, is exactly what I have always wanted and I would not be here if it weren't for my wandering in a new direction.  

xo friends